Anticipation

I was asked to write a blog post for my church facebook page. I thought I'd copy it here for preservation.

In thinking about Advent and how this is a time of anticipation… anticipation of the arrival of Jesus… expectations of joy and peace… I think of how anticipation, expectation, and waiting have become the norm throughout the entire calendar of my life and not just during the Advent season.

I am always in a state of anticipation.  I feel as if I’m always waiting for whatever it is that I am waiting for. For an impatient person, it’s a very tiring practice.

I am waiting for the next step in my husband’s schooling. I am waiting for the day my child eats a meal without protest. I am waiting for the day we can feel financially stable. I am waiting to discover the magic pill that will just melt the fat off the regions I obsess over. I am waiting… anticipating… expecting that all of this will bring peace and joy… and affirmation that the wait was worthwhile.

I know that I’m focusing so much on the end result that I am losing sight of the present. I am so caught up in the “what is to come” that I overlook what blessings and miracles are happening right before my eyes every day.

But what I know and what I practice are definitely not in the same realm. I often wonder if I’m capable of letting go of the anticipation and living in the promise. Perhaps if I gave it more than 30 seconds my focus would shift and I would feel the joy, the peace, the hope that I mentally know awaits me now.