Memory lane

I have kept a diary or journal for much of my life. I remember getting my first diary from Santa in elementary school and I would write all sorts of juicy tidbits about my life in it. (Years later, I learned that my sisters would go through and edit my entries for spelling errors and such but that's for another post.) So I recently went through my journals from 1997 to present and re-read most of the entries. Some years I scanned over but I read for the most part. I have come up with a few realizations.

1) I was (perhaps still am) one whiney little b*tch!!
2) I have such first world problems and what made the highlight reel of my journals is so embarrassing.
3) I have really fun handwriting. I missed my calling as the Home Depot sign writer.
4) All those stupid girls in my favorite romance novels that I make fun of... well I was that stupid girl.

I am so thankful that I have grown up some and that I can look back on those periods of my life and laugh at how ridiculous I was. I really hope my 50 year old self can look back at my present day journal and find the first glimpses of wisdom forming. Gah. Seriously. If I could wipe out 1997-1999 I may be able to hold my head up just a little higher.

I am very thankful I don't have a daughter. I am thankful that I have a son. (I'm sure boys are just as dumb as girls but I don't have written proof of that in any journals, so I'm sticking with the ignorance is bliss route on this.) I am thankful for my friends who stuck through my crazy. I'm thankful I found a man who loves me. I am thankful that I love me now.

Speaking of... Wow. Reading your own self-deprecating words is hard! I'm glad I documented all of those things so that I can look back and see that I've come a long ways in many areas, but seriously... if I could go back and just shake sense into my 19-year-old self! I could have really avoided some dumb dumb dumb moments.